Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol I

Believe it or not, dates don't come easy for me (I know, unbelievable) The real dates I've been to can be counted by the fingers on one hand, and that includes prom. But even though I'm shy (I AM shy. Hello?) I have a proactive streak. So lately, I told myself to start taking dating matters into my own hands. How? By tackling the obvious problem of my dismal-at-best flirting skills. So I gather tips from here and there and try to practice them to see if they work/will work / will not work for me.

Almost unanimously, they tell me it's all about making eye contact. So apparently, all you have to do is try to catch the eye of a “papable” guy several times and hold the gaze for more or less five seconds, and then pronto! He approaches and you chat, then exchange numbers or email addresses. Sounds very easy. In fact, I can't figure out, for the life of me, why I haven't been doing something as natural as that. And according to the research I did on the subject, it is natural for people to gaze at the person they are attracted to, there's some sort of a universal acknowledgement of attraction. That is so strange, I never really thought of it that way. It's embarassing, I'm supposed to be somewhat an expert in non-verbal language.

So now that I am aware of those facts, it should be a piece of cake, as easy as a pie, as crumbly as a cookie (huh?), right? Right? So I went and experimented with it.

Almost right away, I recognized one big problem, I am myopic. It's easy for me to miss people when I'm walking. I once did not recognize my own father walking towards me on the street. So it's difficult for me to identify a cute guy from across the room. I might soon be making eye contact with the likes of Rene Requiestas without me realizing it.

Another thing, I am incredibly shy (I tell you, I really am). Once I realize someone looking my way, I turn away. Sometimes with a scowl. I dunno why I frown, but it's automatic. Maybe I find it very intrusive when strangers look at me in the eye. Or maybe I'm just so embarassed at being caught staring. Then I blush profusely announcing to the world how much of a dork I am.

Also, I don't have “sweet-looking eyes,” mine's the peircing intense kind. Added to the fact that I am shortsighted, I squint a lot making me look more "matapang."  So a coquettish stare I give might look “ano, square tayo?” to others. Nothing more off-putting than a girl maton, is there?

But then I don't give up that easily. I chose a “target” that's just a few meters away, forced myself to hold eye-contact for five seconds (yes, I was counting in my head, too) and remind myself not to frown, and keep my eyes “soft” as if smiling. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments in my life, but lo and behold, he smiled a bit. And then... the smile became smug as he audaciously tried to catch my eye some more. And I turned away not with a frown this time, but with one eyebrow making it's way up to my hairline.  I tried it several times more on other occasions, some without effect, and most with the same result as the above.

So my verdict? It will work with much more practice...but I don't think I'll try it again. It's too unnatural.  And most probably, those who will respond are the jerk types...or maybe I just suck at choosing targets (gee, i sound like a predator. lol).  Whatever it is, this tip isn't for me.