Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol II - Flirtexting

So, my blog's been silent for a whole month.  Unfortunately it's not because of a status change.  I've just been lazy  busy lately.

In this new age of technology and digital chuvaness (hehe, pardon my code- switching), face time is very limited.  It is an option most do not choose due to busy-ness, much to my dismay  Nowadays, it's not uncommon for romantic relationships to develop via digital means: texting, e-mailing, IM-ing, poking (you know, the Facebook kind...or is that also already obsolete?).  So even though I'd rather much prefer the traditional courtship which includes real dating, times seems to have changed.  And who am I not to adapt to the times?
                                                  


As I have said, real dating where both are physically present  is much more appealing to me.  Being able to see the other person's face, and being able to hear how he speaks unedited will give me clues for gauging sincerity and vice versa.  I am fairly fluent in non-verbals and I have come to depend on it over time.  So Flirtexting (yeah, I coined the term and I'll have it copyrighted, too) is a bit awkward for me and also:  1. I don't like texting that much and I do not like the idea of typing short messages throughout the day.  2.  It's more time consuming as a conversation that will take about five minutes face-to-face can take hours when done via texting, 3.  I have the annoying wrong-send syndrome so texting sweetie-pacutie messages to my parents or my boss is highly probable. 4. I try to stay away from mobile phones lately because I heard constant exposure can cause some form of cancer.   Not joking on the last one.  But of course, I gave it a try.

I am very fluent in sarcasm, one thing that proved to be a setback.  I was wrong in assuming everyone speaks the language as fluently as I do.  I found myself constantly explaining my replies such as "masaya maghintay ng one hour, try mo" or " I really love getting sick on rest days, don't you?"  or "yehey! baha na naman!."  Sometimes I get embarrassed, frustrated, or troll-y whenever someone had to clarify with me what I actually meant (in my defense, some were totally dripping in sarcasm).   So now, I just text what I literally mean.

Another setback:  because I don't like texting that much, I tend to be short, abrupt, and direct to the point with my messages.  I usually neglect putting smileys and lols (WHO among us really LOLs when we type LOL?).  So as a result, I have been called "mataray" in more than one occassion.  And since explaining myself isn't one of my favorite activities to do, I consciously try to remember to put the oh-so-necessary smileys, hahahas, and LOLs.  On hindsight, it really takes a lot of guesswork to know the tone of the message  so maybe these smileys are indeed necessary.

On a positive note, flirtexting can buy you time to think and decipher what a message means and consult your more knowledgeable friends as to what would be the most appropriate reply.  I learned early on that sending the first message that pops into my mind unedited is not necessarily the right thing for me to do (given that I am dismal at these kind of stuff).  Another good thing about flirtexting is that I can keep some messages.  The sweet ones if I need a dose of "kilig,"  and the intended-to-be-sweet-but-ended-up-being-hilarious ones to be shared with my girlfriends...haha...oops.  Sorry, women really  tend to do that. One really good thing I can say about flirtexting is that it is rather time-efficient. It allows me to get to know several people at once.

The verdict? It works.  Well at least for broadening my horizon.   But I do hope I  have not gained only textmates.  Texting may be effortless, non-risky, budget-friendly (especially for the unli texters), and convenient but seriously, guys,effort is what women want to see from you.  Making an effort to spend time with someone in person earns you 100- 150 pogi points. And more if you make it a regular thing.  Hint* Hint*  (Yeah I'm shameless like that. Hahaha!)

Edit:
So I wasn't the first one to use the term "flirtexting" and apparently, there's already a book about it entitled, well, "Flirtexting."  Fine.  But I thought of it all by myself. :P

Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol I

Believe it or not, dates don't come easy for me (I know, unbelievable) The real dates I've been to can be counted by the fingers on one hand, and that includes prom. But even though I'm shy (I AM shy. Hello?) I have a proactive streak. So lately, I told myself to start taking dating matters into my own hands. How? By tackling the obvious problem of my dismal-at-best flirting skills. So I gather tips from here and there and try to practice them to see if they work/will work / will not work for me.

Almost unanimously, they tell me it's all about making eye contact. So apparently, all you have to do is try to catch the eye of a “papable” guy several times and hold the gaze for more or less five seconds, and then pronto! He approaches and you chat, then exchange numbers or email addresses. Sounds very easy. In fact, I can't figure out, for the life of me, why I haven't been doing something as natural as that. And according to the research I did on the subject, it is natural for people to gaze at the person they are attracted to, there's some sort of a universal acknowledgement of attraction. That is so strange, I never really thought of it that way. It's embarassing, I'm supposed to be somewhat an expert in non-verbal language.

So now that I am aware of those facts, it should be a piece of cake, as easy as a pie, as crumbly as a cookie (huh?), right? Right? So I went and experimented with it.

Almost right away, I recognized one big problem, I am myopic. It's easy for me to miss people when I'm walking. I once did not recognize my own father walking towards me on the street. So it's difficult for me to identify a cute guy from across the room. I might soon be making eye contact with the likes of Rene Requiestas without me realizing it.

Another thing, I am incredibly shy (I tell you, I really am). Once I realize someone looking my way, I turn away. Sometimes with a scowl. I dunno why I frown, but it's automatic. Maybe I find it very intrusive when strangers look at me in the eye. Or maybe I'm just so embarassed at being caught staring. Then I blush profusely announcing to the world how much of a dork I am.

Also, I don't have “sweet-looking eyes,” mine's the peircing intense kind. Added to the fact that I am shortsighted, I squint a lot making me look more "matapang."  So a coquettish stare I give might look “ano, square tayo?” to others. Nothing more off-putting than a girl maton, is there?

But then I don't give up that easily. I chose a “target” that's just a few meters away, forced myself to hold eye-contact for five seconds (yes, I was counting in my head, too) and remind myself not to frown, and keep my eyes “soft” as if smiling. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments in my life, but lo and behold, he smiled a bit. And then... the smile became smug as he audaciously tried to catch my eye some more. And I turned away not with a frown this time, but with one eyebrow making it's way up to my hairline.  I tried it several times more on other occasions, some without effect, and most with the same result as the above.

So my verdict? It will work with much more practice...but I don't think I'll try it again. It's too unnatural.  And most probably, those who will respond are the jerk types...or maybe I just suck at choosing targets (gee, i sound like a predator. lol).  Whatever it is, this tip isn't for me.