Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol II - Flirtexting

So, my blog's been silent for a whole month.  Unfortunately it's not because of a status change.  I've just been lazy  busy lately.

In this new age of technology and digital chuvaness (hehe, pardon my code- switching), face time is very limited.  It is an option most do not choose due to busy-ness, much to my dismay  Nowadays, it's not uncommon for romantic relationships to develop via digital means: texting, e-mailing, IM-ing, poking (you know, the Facebook kind...or is that also already obsolete?).  So even though I'd rather much prefer the traditional courtship which includes real dating, times seems to have changed.  And who am I not to adapt to the times?
                                                  


As I have said, real dating where both are physically present  is much more appealing to me.  Being able to see the other person's face, and being able to hear how he speaks unedited will give me clues for gauging sincerity and vice versa.  I am fairly fluent in non-verbals and I have come to depend on it over time.  So Flirtexting (yeah, I coined the term and I'll have it copyrighted, too) is a bit awkward for me and also:  1. I don't like texting that much and I do not like the idea of typing short messages throughout the day.  2.  It's more time consuming as a conversation that will take about five minutes face-to-face can take hours when done via texting, 3.  I have the annoying wrong-send syndrome so texting sweetie-pacutie messages to my parents or my boss is highly probable. 4. I try to stay away from mobile phones lately because I heard constant exposure can cause some form of cancer.   Not joking on the last one.  But of course, I gave it a try.

I am very fluent in sarcasm, one thing that proved to be a setback.  I was wrong in assuming everyone speaks the language as fluently as I do.  I found myself constantly explaining my replies such as "masaya maghintay ng one hour, try mo" or " I really love getting sick on rest days, don't you?"  or "yehey! baha na naman!."  Sometimes I get embarrassed, frustrated, or troll-y whenever someone had to clarify with me what I actually meant (in my defense, some were totally dripping in sarcasm).   So now, I just text what I literally mean.

Another setback:  because I don't like texting that much, I tend to be short, abrupt, and direct to the point with my messages.  I usually neglect putting smileys and lols (WHO among us really LOLs when we type LOL?).  So as a result, I have been called "mataray" in more than one occassion.  And since explaining myself isn't one of my favorite activities to do, I consciously try to remember to put the oh-so-necessary smileys, hahahas, and LOLs.  On hindsight, it really takes a lot of guesswork to know the tone of the message  so maybe these smileys are indeed necessary.

On a positive note, flirtexting can buy you time to think and decipher what a message means and consult your more knowledgeable friends as to what would be the most appropriate reply.  I learned early on that sending the first message that pops into my mind unedited is not necessarily the right thing for me to do (given that I am dismal at these kind of stuff).  Another good thing about flirtexting is that I can keep some messages.  The sweet ones if I need a dose of "kilig,"  and the intended-to-be-sweet-but-ended-up-being-hilarious ones to be shared with my girlfriends...haha...oops.  Sorry, women really  tend to do that. One really good thing I can say about flirtexting is that it is rather time-efficient. It allows me to get to know several people at once.

The verdict? It works.  Well at least for broadening my horizon.   But I do hope I  have not gained only textmates.  Texting may be effortless, non-risky, budget-friendly (especially for the unli texters), and convenient but seriously, guys,effort is what women want to see from you.  Making an effort to spend time with someone in person earns you 100- 150 pogi points. And more if you make it a regular thing.  Hint* Hint*  (Yeah I'm shameless like that. Hahaha!)

Edit:
So I wasn't the first one to use the term "flirtexting" and apparently, there's already a book about it entitled, well, "Flirtexting."  Fine.  But I thought of it all by myself. :P

Truth is, being single sucks sometimes

Yeah it does.  Eeehh… Sometimes.  Like when it’s February and couples and couples-to-be celebrate the dratted and overly commercialized Valentine’s day while I and the rest of the unattached population celebrate Singles’ Awareness Day.  Yes, we become oh so aware of our partnerless state amidst the ridiculous flower and chocolate price hike and increase in restaurant reservations and motel promos (lol…oopsie).   For someone who would be celebrating her 26^th dateless valentine anniversary this shouldn’t matter much by now.  Well frankly it doesn’t but the fact is, I’m a girl, and which girl does not want to be on a Valentine's date with her boyfriend?

I admit I sometimes get pressured , although a lot less than when I was younger, to finally experience this rite of passage that is having a boyfriend.  Specifically during holidays and/or reunions when almost every relative ask me why I still am single despite my… uh…highly marketable…uh…qualities.  One uncle once predicted (when I was 21 or thereabouts) that if by the age of 24 I still haven’t managed to get myself a boyfriend, I’ll be a spinster for life.  Seriously, how cruel was that? You see, I used to think I’d be married by now.  I once pegged 24- 27 as my marrying age (sure i'm just 26 and a half, but I don't think any whirlwind romance is gonna happen to me soon).  For a goal-oriented person like me, it was a bit hard to get over but I can honestly say I’ve surpassed the worst of it.  But still, no matter how small, I feel the pressure somehow.

Being single sometimes gets frustrating, too. Especially at times when you want to go out or try out some activity or whatnot, and none, and I mean none, of your friends, single or attached, are available to do it with you.  If I have a boyfriend, I can obligate him to do those things with me. And without feeling guilty at that.  When you just want to talk to somebody at 3 am and everybody else is snoring in their beds and you of course wouldn’t dare dial their number unless you get a kick out of being yelled at in the middle of the night.  If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, then it is acceptable, and sometimes expected to have moments like that, right? 

Even just looking at nice couple stuff which seems to be a craze nowadays (couple shirts, rings, mugs, pillows…I wonder if there are couple underwear tho) sometimes emphasize the fact that I, strong and independent as I may be, am... alone.  And yeah, I’ve recently developed a bad habit for watching pre-nup and wedding videos and I honestly think it’s doing nothing but to make myself  anxious about when that time comes for me, if at all (yikes, ominous thoughts. Erase, erase)

But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being single since I have no other choice.   As a matter of fact I am grateful I don’t have to deal with the messy couple stuff yet that I seem to witness among my friends too often.  It just probably shows that I am human, prone to being discontent sometimes, and to feel the irrational need to be with a partner in life.