What is your honey to you?

My blog's been silent after only three meager posts (Which I'm happy to know have garnered 180+ views). I apologize for that. I've just been really busy and also sick this past week. Don't you worry your pretty little heads, I'm alright. Just feeling under the weather with my hyperactive mucus glands. I'm not the healthiest person in the world, you know, so this is a common occurrence.

I just remembered a comment somebody made when I was also sick some time ago: “kaya ka parating nagkakasakit kasi walang nag-aalaga sa'yo (you always get sick because nobody's taking care of you)” to which I promptly replied “bakit, ano ako, pet? (why, am I a pet?).” Apparently, according to my more knowledgable friends, mine was not the normal response to an obvious hint. I was like “oh, so that was a line? How...lame...”

Unfortunately, I'm like a guy whe it comes to hints. Subtle hints won't work and obvious hints will just confuse me. But unlike guys who seem to think every woman who happens to look their way has a burning desire for them, I do not assume things. I did once which led to disastrous results...an event which I am not inclined to share (and only mentioned because I love torturing people by withholding information).

But my being insensitive is not really the point I want to drive at with this post. With that comment someone made, it just came over me that boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses have different functions for different people.

With my usually accurate observation and deducing skills (ehem) I have classified people into the following types of partners according to use (yeah,we are I am we are utilitarian that way). They can be one, or a combination of the following. So you, what do you see your honeybunch as?

1. Caregiver: (see paragraph 2 for reference) People, usually women, who like to play mommy/daddy to their other half. They make sure you've eaten properly, gone home safely, and will remind you to do your chores. They also have a hero complex. Best for spoiled brats and mama's boys.
2. Worshiper: Best for powertrippers. People who choose them for partners are usually insecure or just addicted to praise. The worshiper vicariously lives off their partner's glory. On the extreme end of the spectrum are those who are involved in sado-masochist relationships.
3. Status symbol: They are chosen as partners by people who want to be “in” or approved by the community they want to take part of. Emotional connection not necessary. Just the background, face value, or even race are important. Trophy wives/husbands/gf's/bf's fall in this category.
4. Basic necessity: for the pragmatics. I've heard of some people marrying for practical purposes (shared expenses, or  because they can't raise a kid on their own, etc) Sometimes also treated as ATMs, cooks, secretaries, etc.
5. Mirror: I don't know about you, but when I want to feel good, I look in the mirror and my spirits are immediately uplifted. LOL. Narcisism aside, this partner is best for people with ruminative tendencies. They want to feel good about themselves so they choose a mirror, a partner very much like them even down to the rotten traits they have. This is why you see alcoholics and crack addicts pair off among themselves.
6. Crack: Speaking of crack addicts, this kind of partner is for people with addictive inclinations. They are partners to those who can't get enough of the idea of love and having a lover... who isn't necessarily good for them.  Bella and Eduard fall in this category.
7. Teddy bear: For people craving intimacy. No, not just physical, someone who you can share your deepest darkest secrets and fears with,  with no reservations because you know they wont react negatively. But that's because they don't react at all, but then again, acceptance is never an issue.
8. Buddy: Wanna go to the mall? Call sweetheart. Wanna go enlarge your beer gut? SMS honey. These partners don't necessarily ignite your feiry passions but they're comfortable to be around with like that holey cotton shirt you prefer wearing to bed. No fuss, low maintenance but shares a very deep bond with you and cares very much about your well-being. Most of the time also a Fertilizer (See below). This buddy usually attracts another buddy.
9. Fertilizer: They are chosen for their abilities to push you to be your best.

You can deny all you want and say that you choose your partner solely for the sake of love...riiiiigghttt. As for myself I would like to believe I want a buddy and fertilizer for a partner. I don't feel incomplete without one but I think it will be great to have one. Because I'm not looking for someone who'll complete me. I'm whole and I'll just need someone to complement my completeness...echos!