Why Jose P. Rizal is Not My National Hero

Don't get me wrong. Jose Rizal accomplished a lot of great things worthy of acknowledgement and admiration. And even respect. He is a genius, well-traveled, well-rounded, and world-famous. However, after studying about his life more back in college, I feel that our reverence of him is a little bit undeserved. Jose Rizal being declared as the National hero is just another proof how messed up our history is written. Glossing over some gruesome events (Fil- American war, other countries' occupations, EDSA 3) and glorifying others (American occupation, Giving thanks to Spaniards for “making us civilized,” EDSA I and EDSA II) in order to serve a certain group of people, more often than not the petit bourgeoise and the people in government office.

1. He is the hero endorsed by the Americans
   Yes, he was declared a national hero during the American occupation. Why him? Because among all the candidates, he is the one who is not aggressive and bloodthirsty and did not ask for freedom exactly. He is not the brave, I will die for the Philippines, fight for my people's freedom kind of hero. He, at most is a great writer of books which inspired Bonifacio and his Katipunan to revolt. So he is the perfect choice, the Americans didn't want us to get any more (revolutionary) ideas.
   
   
2. He did not want freedom from Spain.
   He is a reformist. He just wanted the Philippines to become a province of Spain and not to be completely independent from the Spanish rule. At best, he is, to use Leon Maria Guerero's words, a “reluctant revolutionary.” Oh and he wrote a letter during his imprisonment retracting all of his anti-Catholic and anti-Spanish doings. It might be because he was being threathened, and he broke under the pressure of his living conditions at that time, we may never know.
   
   
3. He wrote his famous two books Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo in Spanish
   No, I am not saying he didn't display his nationalism by writing his books in a language that is not Filipino. Let's think, who in the Philippines at that time knows how to speak, much less read, the language apart from the Spanish themselves? The illustrados. Did these illustrados bother to share with the indios? No. so what I am saying is, to credit him alone for a national uprising is nothing short of ridiculous.

Jose Rizal have achieved all of these magnanimous feats because he had the means to do so. He had access to great education and experiences. Maybe because of the priviledged life he was raised into, he was not able to clearly see the strife of the Indios and his idealism is not as radical as what Bonifacio and the other revolutionaries share.

*I am not a historian nor am I claiming to be one. If you find corrections to this, please feel free to inform me through comments. I do not intend to disrespect anyone, much less the memory of a great person that is Rizal. I only aim to make the little audience that I have learn how to be be skeptical before merely accepting everything presented to them as facts. This is because I am a firm believer that our understanding our history is important for our elusive identity and success as a people.

Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol II - Flirtexting

So, my blog's been silent for a whole month.  Unfortunately it's not because of a status change.  I've just been lazy  busy lately.

In this new age of technology and digital chuvaness (hehe, pardon my code- switching), face time is very limited.  It is an option most do not choose due to busy-ness, much to my dismay  Nowadays, it's not uncommon for romantic relationships to develop via digital means: texting, e-mailing, IM-ing, poking (you know, the Facebook kind...or is that also already obsolete?).  So even though I'd rather much prefer the traditional courtship which includes real dating, times seems to have changed.  And who am I not to adapt to the times?
                                                  


As I have said, real dating where both are physically present  is much more appealing to me.  Being able to see the other person's face, and being able to hear how he speaks unedited will give me clues for gauging sincerity and vice versa.  I am fairly fluent in non-verbals and I have come to depend on it over time.  So Flirtexting (yeah, I coined the term and I'll have it copyrighted, too) is a bit awkward for me and also:  1. I don't like texting that much and I do not like the idea of typing short messages throughout the day.  2.  It's more time consuming as a conversation that will take about five minutes face-to-face can take hours when done via texting, 3.  I have the annoying wrong-send syndrome so texting sweetie-pacutie messages to my parents or my boss is highly probable. 4. I try to stay away from mobile phones lately because I heard constant exposure can cause some form of cancer.   Not joking on the last one.  But of course, I gave it a try.

I am very fluent in sarcasm, one thing that proved to be a setback.  I was wrong in assuming everyone speaks the language as fluently as I do.  I found myself constantly explaining my replies such as "masaya maghintay ng one hour, try mo" or " I really love getting sick on rest days, don't you?"  or "yehey! baha na naman!."  Sometimes I get embarrassed, frustrated, or troll-y whenever someone had to clarify with me what I actually meant (in my defense, some were totally dripping in sarcasm).   So now, I just text what I literally mean.

Another setback:  because I don't like texting that much, I tend to be short, abrupt, and direct to the point with my messages.  I usually neglect putting smileys and lols (WHO among us really LOLs when we type LOL?).  So as a result, I have been called "mataray" in more than one occassion.  And since explaining myself isn't one of my favorite activities to do, I consciously try to remember to put the oh-so-necessary smileys, hahahas, and LOLs.  On hindsight, it really takes a lot of guesswork to know the tone of the message  so maybe these smileys are indeed necessary.

On a positive note, flirtexting can buy you time to think and decipher what a message means and consult your more knowledgeable friends as to what would be the most appropriate reply.  I learned early on that sending the first message that pops into my mind unedited is not necessarily the right thing for me to do (given that I am dismal at these kind of stuff).  Another good thing about flirtexting is that I can keep some messages.  The sweet ones if I need a dose of "kilig,"  and the intended-to-be-sweet-but-ended-up-being-hilarious ones to be shared with my girlfriends...haha...oops.  Sorry, women really  tend to do that. One really good thing I can say about flirtexting is that it is rather time-efficient. It allows me to get to know several people at once.

The verdict? It works.  Well at least for broadening my horizon.   But I do hope I  have not gained only textmates.  Texting may be effortless, non-risky, budget-friendly (especially for the unli texters), and convenient but seriously, guys,effort is what women want to see from you.  Making an effort to spend time with someone in person earns you 100- 150 pogi points. And more if you make it a regular thing.  Hint* Hint*  (Yeah I'm shameless like that. Hahaha!)

Edit:
So I wasn't the first one to use the term "flirtexting" and apparently, there's already a book about it entitled, well, "Flirtexting."  Fine.  But I thought of it all by myself. :P

Bawal daw ang choosy

“'Wag ka nang choosy!”

Whenever I mention to my friends that I find a guy ok, they tell me this line almost immediately. As a result, my defenses usually shoot up together with my left eyebrow.  Most of the time, I can cover my irritation with LOLs and big fake smiles.  I know they are well-meaning, wanting me to finally experience and enjoy the bliss of being in a relationship, but, duh! That just makes me (or anyone else who share the same fate as mine) sound desperate.  And hello, with looks and brains, and personality like mine, I can't be choosy? (Kidding, but not really)   It's not like I don't have anything to offer. 

They always tell me not to use my head too much. Why, though? It's the only protection I got, right? If I go for every guy I find somewhat attractive, without so much as having adequate standards, then where would that leave me? In that messy relationship YOU are in? Sorry but no thanks!

This, my friends, is one of the things that irk me. I try to see how good your intentions are, but ultimately, I get offended.. I, and everyone else, have the right to be choosy. Especially because we are not looking for flings but the real thing. It can't be and shouldn't be rushed. It's only fair for me and whoever I'll be with in the future. Granted that not everything can be figured out prior a relationship, a little thinking won't hurt. Don't you agree?

Truth is, being single sucks sometimes

Yeah it does.  Eeehh… Sometimes.  Like when it’s February and couples and couples-to-be celebrate the dratted and overly commercialized Valentine’s day while I and the rest of the unattached population celebrate Singles’ Awareness Day.  Yes, we become oh so aware of our partnerless state amidst the ridiculous flower and chocolate price hike and increase in restaurant reservations and motel promos (lol…oopsie).   For someone who would be celebrating her 26^th dateless valentine anniversary this shouldn’t matter much by now.  Well frankly it doesn’t but the fact is, I’m a girl, and which girl does not want to be on a Valentine's date with her boyfriend?

I admit I sometimes get pressured , although a lot less than when I was younger, to finally experience this rite of passage that is having a boyfriend.  Specifically during holidays and/or reunions when almost every relative ask me why I still am single despite my… uh…highly marketable…uh…qualities.  One uncle once predicted (when I was 21 or thereabouts) that if by the age of 24 I still haven’t managed to get myself a boyfriend, I’ll be a spinster for life.  Seriously, how cruel was that? You see, I used to think I’d be married by now.  I once pegged 24- 27 as my marrying age (sure i'm just 26 and a half, but I don't think any whirlwind romance is gonna happen to me soon).  For a goal-oriented person like me, it was a bit hard to get over but I can honestly say I’ve surpassed the worst of it.  But still, no matter how small, I feel the pressure somehow.

Being single sometimes gets frustrating, too. Especially at times when you want to go out or try out some activity or whatnot, and none, and I mean none, of your friends, single or attached, are available to do it with you.  If I have a boyfriend, I can obligate him to do those things with me. And without feeling guilty at that.  When you just want to talk to somebody at 3 am and everybody else is snoring in their beds and you of course wouldn’t dare dial their number unless you get a kick out of being yelled at in the middle of the night.  If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, then it is acceptable, and sometimes expected to have moments like that, right? 

Even just looking at nice couple stuff which seems to be a craze nowadays (couple shirts, rings, mugs, pillows…I wonder if there are couple underwear tho) sometimes emphasize the fact that I, strong and independent as I may be, am... alone.  And yeah, I’ve recently developed a bad habit for watching pre-nup and wedding videos and I honestly think it’s doing nothing but to make myself  anxious about when that time comes for me, if at all (yikes, ominous thoughts. Erase, erase)

But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being single since I have no other choice.   As a matter of fact I am grateful I don’t have to deal with the messy couple stuff yet that I seem to witness among my friends too often.  It just probably shows that I am human, prone to being discontent sometimes, and to feel the irrational need to be with a partner in life.

Flirting Tips Assessment: What works, will work, won't work. Vol I

Believe it or not, dates don't come easy for me (I know, unbelievable) The real dates I've been to can be counted by the fingers on one hand, and that includes prom. But even though I'm shy (I AM shy. Hello?) I have a proactive streak. So lately, I told myself to start taking dating matters into my own hands. How? By tackling the obvious problem of my dismal-at-best flirting skills. So I gather tips from here and there and try to practice them to see if they work/will work / will not work for me.

Almost unanimously, they tell me it's all about making eye contact. So apparently, all you have to do is try to catch the eye of a “papable” guy several times and hold the gaze for more or less five seconds, and then pronto! He approaches and you chat, then exchange numbers or email addresses. Sounds very easy. In fact, I can't figure out, for the life of me, why I haven't been doing something as natural as that. And according to the research I did on the subject, it is natural for people to gaze at the person they are attracted to, there's some sort of a universal acknowledgement of attraction. That is so strange, I never really thought of it that way. It's embarassing, I'm supposed to be somewhat an expert in non-verbal language.

So now that I am aware of those facts, it should be a piece of cake, as easy as a pie, as crumbly as a cookie (huh?), right? Right? So I went and experimented with it.

Almost right away, I recognized one big problem, I am myopic. It's easy for me to miss people when I'm walking. I once did not recognize my own father walking towards me on the street. So it's difficult for me to identify a cute guy from across the room. I might soon be making eye contact with the likes of Rene Requiestas without me realizing it.

Another thing, I am incredibly shy (I tell you, I really am). Once I realize someone looking my way, I turn away. Sometimes with a scowl. I dunno why I frown, but it's automatic. Maybe I find it very intrusive when strangers look at me in the eye. Or maybe I'm just so embarassed at being caught staring. Then I blush profusely announcing to the world how much of a dork I am.

Also, I don't have “sweet-looking eyes,” mine's the peircing intense kind. Added to the fact that I am shortsighted, I squint a lot making me look more "matapang."  So a coquettish stare I give might look “ano, square tayo?” to others. Nothing more off-putting than a girl maton, is there?

But then I don't give up that easily. I chose a “target” that's just a few meters away, forced myself to hold eye-contact for five seconds (yes, I was counting in my head, too) and remind myself not to frown, and keep my eyes “soft” as if smiling. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments in my life, but lo and behold, he smiled a bit. And then... the smile became smug as he audaciously tried to catch my eye some more. And I turned away not with a frown this time, but with one eyebrow making it's way up to my hairline.  I tried it several times more on other occasions, some without effect, and most with the same result as the above.

So my verdict? It will work with much more practice...but I don't think I'll try it again. It's too unnatural.  And most probably, those who will respond are the jerk types...or maybe I just suck at choosing targets (gee, i sound like a predator. lol).  Whatever it is, this tip isn't for me.

Mutual attraction, anything else is creepy

           I just realized that we don't necessarily feel kilig for every man who hits on us.  Sure it could be flattering, but even being flattered isn't a guaranty.

           I remember getting my first (omigosh) bouquet of flowers  The delivery man came into my cubicle and handed me the flowers, and my heart skipped two beats.  I then opened the envelope and read through the short but sweet message and then jumped to the bottom of the note, hoping to see my crush's name....and I shivered violently.  But not in a good way. Alas, it was from someone who I heavily suspect was gay and trying to use me as a gay beard...plus he definitely ain't my type, physically speaking. I hated the fact that everyone in the department saw the gorgeous flowers being delivered to me.  And also hated the fact that none of the first bouquet of flowers I received will be preserved between the pages of a book because I'll definitely throw them all once they wilted out.  I just couldn't make myself keep even a single petal...brrr.

        
            Sweet gestures are just sweeter when they come from someone who you like, otherwise it's irritating, or eww, or creepy.   The creepiness factor is also directly proportional to the grandeur of the gesture (think being harana-ed in front of your house with your parents inside with you by a guy who's really not your type, to say the least).  I'm just being real.  I'm pretty sure a lot of you will agree.

  
           So maybe an advice to guys trying to court girls, hold off for a while until she gives a hint of attraction before making the most romantic gestures in an attempt to sweep her off her feet...you might just be turning her stomach and making yourself the star of the next anecdote she'll share with her girlfriends.

I'm single, yes, but don't assume why

It's funny how people tend to assume a lot of things whenever they hear a person in his/her mid- twenties still single and never been attached. Here are some assumptions on why people are single that I wish to discuss and debunk.

You have shortcomings in the physical aspect:

I remember when I tried to engage the help of my friends to look for a date for me, many of the reponses of their so-called prospects go like “baka naman pangit yan ha(maybe she's ugly).” People tend to assume there is something wrong with how you look (or worse, smell) that's why you're having trouble getting a date. In their minds, a person blessed with gorgeousness as mine would never have problems getting a significant other right?  So definitely, there's something off with your face.  Excuuuussse me. 'Nuff said.

You are gay:

People think that if you're not ugly, then your being single should have something to do with your sexual preferences. I have nothing against gays or lesbos, but I never liked being assumed to be one. 1. It hurts my chances of finding a partner more as these kinds of intriga sometimes catches on, 2. It implies that I somehow am trying to trick people into believing I am what I am not, ie: stay in the closet and have a gay beard to cover it up more.  I am not that cowardly.  To finally settle the discussion, I am not gay. Although admittedly, my appreciation of the female beauty may have contributed to this assumption.  I'm pretty sure, this goes true with some singles out there.

You have high standards:

People who hear about my being single almost automatically assume it's because I have a high standards that have to be met. Funnily enough, they assume I want an intellectual badass for a partner. Errr...not necessarily. I just want someone who I can have a conversation with about anything and everything under the sun. Besides, I don't need an intelligent man to be my husband. Intelligence is usually inherited from the mother, and I have that  already covered ...ehem. Yes, I do have preferences like any other girl but only a few of them are non-bendable. My non-negotiables are the following: street-smart, kind-hearted, loving, respectful, God-loving, responsible, and has dreams. Of course, I should find him somewhat attactive and presentable, too. So tell, me, are these too much to ask?

You are not really looking:

I admit, I have once been absorbed with school work and later with my job. I am a recovered workaholic. I used to never have time for gong out, not even with family and friends. So maybe this assumption holds true before. But now, I even send out feelers to my friends, offering a dinner reward for a successful date referral, no kidding. And if you're reading this, you're welcome to join the referral program, too. Ask me for details. Hehe.

You are not willing to love and take risks:

Many singles have loved and have faced rejection.  So have I.  So I find it very unfair when people assume this.

Ever read an article about what things not to say to a single friend?  If you haven't, try reading.  If you have, then please do take heed and be more understanding. You'll of much more help if you try to widen your single friend's not- big- enough network. More often than not, and definitely true in my case, that's the the biggest problem keeping them single and unattached.