Yeah it does. Eeehh… Sometimes. Like when it’s February and couples and couples-to-be celebrate the dratted and overly commercialized Valentine’s day while I and the rest of the unattached population celebrate Singles’ Awareness Day. Yes, we become oh so aware of our partnerless state amidst the ridiculous flower and chocolate price hike and increase in restaurant reservations and motel promos (lol…oopsie). For someone who would be celebrating her 26th dateless valentine anniversary this shouldn’t matter much by now. Well frankly it doesn’t but the fact is, I’m a girl, and which girl does not want to be on a Valentine's date with her boyfriendI admit I sometimes get pressured , although a lot less than when I was younger, to finally experience this rite of passage that is having a boyfriend. Specifically during holidays and/or reunions when almost every relative ask me why I still am single despite my… uh…highly marketable…uh…qualities. One uncle once predicted (when I was 21 or thereabouts) that if by the age of 24 I still haven’t managed to get myself a boyfriend, I’ll be a spinster for life. Seriously, how cruel was that? You see, I used to think I’d be married by now. I once pegged 24- 27 as my marrying age (sure i'm just 26 and a half, but I don't think any whirlwind romance is gonna happen to me soon). For a goal-oriented person like me, it was a bit hard to get over but I can honestly say I’ve surpassed the worst of it. But still, no matter how small, I feel the pressure somehow.
Being single sometimes gets frustrating, too. Especially at times when you want to go out or try out some activity or whatnot, and none, and I mean none, of your friends, single or attached, are available to do it with you. If I have a boyfriend, I can obligate him to do those things with me. And without feeling guilty at that. When you just want to talk to somebody at 3 am and everybody else is snoring in their beds and you of course wouldn’t dare dial their number unless you get a kick out of being yelled at in the middle of the night. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, then it is acceptable, and sometimes expected to have moments like that, right?
Even just looking at nice couple stuff which seems to be a craze nowadays (couple shirts, rings, mugs, pillows…I wonder if there are couple underwear tho) sometimes emphasize the fact that I, strong and independent as I may be, am... alone. And yeah, I’ve recently developed a bad habit for watching pre-nup and wedding videos and I honestly think it’s doing nothing but to make myself anxious about when that time comes for me, if at all (yikes, ominous thoughts. Erase, erase)But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being single since I have no other choice. As a matter of fact I am grateful I don’t have to deal with the messy couple stuff yet that I seem to witness among my friends too often. It just probably shows that I am human, prone to being discontent sometimes, and to feel the irrational need to be with a partner in life.
